How the heck can a person be soo busy, yet bored?
Totally had this question on my mind for months now, but have not been able to obtain an answer. Everyone always offers me suggestions, but they have never quite resonated or stuck. I’m not sure if I’m just feeling unfulfilled or what the heck the problem is, but lately I just feel so bored, so empty, so, almost lost. I have a ton to do every day. Work, work, and more work, on top of kid’s, kid’s, and more kid’s. A house to take care of, a husband to care for, and homeschooling that needs assistance. As well as jogging 6.3 miles every day. Gotta get ready for that 10K race. As you can see there is no shortage of daily activities that are needing to get done, so why am I feeling so lost, so empty, so well, BORED?
I just started to get back into going to church every week, as well as, when I am jogging, I listen to uplifting Christian music, a broadcast, and/or am reading the bible and other Christian books every day. I fellowship with other Christian friends almost every day, so I know I’m getting feed in the faith department. Yet, I’m feeling empty. I know it’s selfish, but part of me want’s to be able to change peoples lives, to make a difference in their lives, whether in a small or big way. It’s crazy because then I look to others to try and fill me up, but yet, that does not seem to be the answer because I’m still for the most part, feeling empty. Has anyone else ever had this happen them? Have you ever felt empty or lost? I feel like I’m going thru a midlife crisis at the age of…, well now. I’ll just keep that number to myself as I’m super old.
What am I yearning for? Change? I feel like I need change. Honestly, I feel like I just need a fresh new start. Somewhere new, a clean slate, a new beginning, a new adventure. Calm Down! Yes, with my family. I would take them with me. My family is not the problem, IT’S ME! I feel like I have so much more that I’m supposed to be doing, for God, for other people, for my family, yes and for myself. That my purpose is still out there just waiting for me to discover it. At the same time, I’m not sure I could take on more on top of what I already have. Could it possibly be just the daily monotonous tasks that are just wearing on me? Is God nudging me towards something else? Is Satan just trying to create strife in my life? Am I just having an internal battle with my own thinking and selfish desires? I know, so many questions. Without any answer’s. I’m open to suggestions, to shedding some light on my and possibly others situation. Where to go from here? Where to find and seek out the answers? Wise words from the bible, Psalms 37:7 and Psalms 46:10. Until I obtain those answers, I will be still and wait upon the Lord.