Am I Number One? Are You Number One?
If I’m going to continue to be transparent and talk about the struggles and hardships that I am facing then I need to be true and move forward in that. This week has been a trying, growing week for me. You already read about the change of heart, here’s a second eye opener. This week it has come to my attention, how much I want/need to be number one at everything. So unrealistic, I know, but none the less such a huge need of mine. This is not new to me, but can also not be good for me either. Do I fail? Yes, on a daily basis. Does that stop me from striving to be number one? NOPE! I try even harder, most days. It can get really draining and frustrating though, sometimes never obtaining that goal. Hey stupid, then stop and lower your standards. Sorry, no can do, it does not work that way. That’s like telling yourself to stop breathing thru your nose and breath thru your mouth. Can it be done? Yes, but it would take a lot of practice and time. What the crazy! Are you talking about lowering your standards and risking being lazy? Possibly. It’s never possible to always be number one at everything, but it is always possible to strive for that, if you don’t mind failure. As I have said, this thought process is not new, and I have grown VERY accustomed to failure, IT JUST REALLY SUCKS! Sometimes I hit the bulls eye, but the majority of the time I fall short. What then? Then it comes time to reevaluate, not to drop my standards, but to reassess a different direction.
I was talking to a friend the other day about this same issue. After we had talked for a little while, I came to the conclusion that there are other people that are like me. I really thought, I was alone and no one would understand. That friend understood and identified, and I am so thankful for that. I’m sure some of you, who do not have a similar personality to me, are wondering what things I am talking about. It’s simple, EVERYTHING! Work, looks, intellect, sense of humor, our house, cars, clothes, makeup, hair, body, mother, wife, daughter, friend, sister, ect….. UGH! Weird, but it’s not in a materialistic kind of way either. Being very motivated goes hand in hand with having to be number one. For me, you can’t have one without the other. Hence, I have both. Great! Good for me. I think that it also plays into being a perfectionist and having some OCD. Am I setting myself up for failure, or what? I honestly, wouldn’t have it any other way. I like being a leader and I like striving for more.
I am a challenge seeker, not an adrenaline seeker. I’m more of a person that likes to strive to meet attainable challenges. Go Me! Go Me!
Alright, so now you have gained a little more insight into my persona, and a little more into how I tick. How do you tick? Are you a leader or a follower? Do you strive to be the best that you can be at everything you do? Do you want more out of your life? What kind of person are you?