A Full Make Over!
What woman does not like a make over? For me they are a start to a new beginning. A start to a new chapter in my life. I decided a couple of months ago, that I wanted to under go a kind of total make over. I felt like I was losing myself, and frankly, needed to be found and liberated. I could never afford anything like the tv make overs, not that I would want someone else deciding what is best for me anyways, so I have set out on this journey. I’m excited, because no one knows me better, then well, me. I established different areas where I wanted to really focus on and dove right in.
Step One: Body
As you have read I decided to register for a 10K. Big Yeah! The race is less then four months away and I have already begun training. Hard Core! With both endurance and strength. It has been a painful process, but I am going to continue to push thru it. Hence, body is very much under way. “God, I pray for strength, agility, and endurance as the days go on”.
Step Two: Outside Appearance
I have picked up some clothes and shoes so far, but am taking this one a little slower. I’m not willing to break the bank, getting carried away with this one. I am a big proponent for enhancing the natural beauty God gave you, so I don’t die my hair and my husband is a HUGE believer in, woman should have long hair, so not much I can do there either. Maybe a little trim. 🙂 I have also found some natural make up that I’m going to invest in. Other then that, I’m just waiting for that natural sun kissed glow that the summer brings. Hello, skin cancer! Seriously, why paleness is not the new thing, I have no idea. When it is, I will be a shoe in for that. It would make things so much easier. Ha! Ha! “God, I pray that I would be beautiful to you, and to those that you choose, including myself”.
Step Three: Mental
I needed and still need to do much more growing in this department. As I have said, it will be a journey, not over at any certain point. Only when the goals that I have set below, have been obtained. I have come to the understanding that I need to accept myself, for myself, and that if others could not accept me for me, that I needed to move on. As hard as that would be for me. I have deep yearnings for others to be happy and to be accepted. I do understand that it’s not rational to always be accepted, and I fully understand that it hurts when your not. Believe me I know. I wanted to start journaling and moving forward in me, and I told Tony about it. That is when he said “You need to start a blog”. I told him no, that it really was not my thing. I could not get the thought out of my head, but I was not keen on everyone knowing the real me, though I could hide it. After some time I decided that I would do it, under one condition. I would start this blog and I would only do it under the pretense that I would be true to me. No Lies, No Fakeness, No Sugar Coated Roses, the hard core raw truth that was me. He said, “Ok” and went to work on the website that night. Go Tony! Growing and moving forward in intellect and knowledge is very important in this total make over as well. I’m not at a place in my life where I would have the time that I would need, to devote to going back to school, so I learn little by little, when I can. Little morals every day help me to expand my understanding immensely. Maybe not as much as some, but perhaps more then others. “God, I pray that you would expand my wisdom, knowledge, and understanding exponentially”.
Step Four: Emotional
Some of the emotional growth is as a result of the above and below listed items, but I am also working on being happy. I want to know more of what pure joy is. I crave to feel alive again, to be me. I have sweated the small stuff for so long that my life has turned into a long battle everyday. I am so scared of being walked all over and made to feel like complete crap, or made fun of, that I have lost my true self. I crave and am seeking my true identity. Yes, I understand that their will always be those people that tear you down, but that is why I have blogged on the otter importance of an awesomely solid support network. One day I would like to be able to let a lot of it go. The past, little things in the present, and more things in the future. I don’t want to be a push over, or someone that gets walked all over either, but a joyful, fun loving, beautiful, woman of emotional strength. I want to lay down the anxiety, depression, doubt, fear, worry, ect.. and raise my cross up higher. I will get there, one day. This journey has already begun and is underway. “God, I pray that you would give me the knowledge and understanding accomplish this”.
Step Fifth: Spiritual
I am very excited about this one. I have started reading books. Some not so good, others have so far, been really beneficial. The one that I am reading right now is Bea Baldridge’s book, “The Commandments in the New Testament Gospels”. I have for many years, been searching for answers to this question, so I believe this will help me on that journey. I am only a couple of chapters in, but it is really informative. I have so far, really enjoyed reading and gleaning the knowledge that I have less far received from this book. As you know, I have lived a lot like a law keeper and less like Jesus. I will try to leave the judging to God and be more like Jesus. FYI, He never accepted, or allowed people to continue in their sin. He always admonished them in love, whenever he could. I read and work thru the bible every day, but I would like to understand it on another level, a deeper level. It’s hard because I’m such a hands on learner, and a, learn by trials, kind of person. Wow, that sucks! I want to grow and learn, but I am so afraid of the trials and hardships that my come my way. I pray that, that learning would come slowly and in very small doses. “God, I pray that you would help me to be more like your son, Jesus Christ”.
I am seeing myself change in all of these steps, slowly. Trying desperately not to get caught in the traps that the world, and my enemies, including myself, have set for me. I never expected that this would happen over night and am practical about the time and effort that all of these will take to reach my total make over. I’m putting in the time and effort to try to make a difference, not only in myself, but in others’ lives as well. No promises, but one day I hope to get there.
On another note, if I could take this moment to empower you. If you are unhappy about the way in which your life has proceeded to go. Join me! Join me, on this total make over, or maybe if you don’t need all five steps, just join me on a step or two. Fill your life with joyous, positive momentum, like I am working on, in my life. Be encouraged in that, you are not alone. I am here working on these things as well, right with you. For some step five: Spiritual may be hard for you, or you may not be at the point where you are ready. Maybe you don’t know Jesus, and maybe you do. When you are ready, or if you would like to talk to someone, just to see where you are at in that walk, take the first step towards freedom in Christ no matter what place you are at. Lay down your burdens, and pick up the cross. It has been very freeing for me!
If you have been reading my blog, you know that there are a whole lot of fake Christians out there, but know that there are a whole lot of Real Christians out there too. I have noticed, for me, that once I did that, my life changed forever. It wasn’t easy, but it was a much better life to live. Respecting and loving others while having that faith in God and what his son Jesus Christ did for me, for us, is always a life worth living, and living well. People, don’t fall into the traps that the world, and our enemies, including ourselves, have set for us. Be Free and Live Well! Mandy here, empowering you to join me in these positive changes!